Humans are a mysterious and complicated species. We are so diverse in our personalities, goals, and desires, that it’s probably almost impossible to find that perfect match – a partner who will fulfill all of our expectations and share our interests. Good that for most of us, that’s not the goal anyway. The more important question is, once we do meet that person who makes our heart sing, how do we find out if he is Mr. Right?
This article will offer a list of 12 questions for you to ask your new partner, in your quest to get to know them better – and find out whether the two of you are a good match.
1 What do you like most about me?
It’s a fun question to ask each other – and will help you find out what your partner appreciates about you. Ask him what he liked about you when the two of you first met, and what it was that attracted him to you. Then ask him what else he has found out and likes about you now. His answers will make you happy and boost your self-esteem. Take turns in asking this question, and enjoy finding out more about each other.
2 What makes you feel loved?
A question like this will give your partner a chance to express what they most long for in a relationship. Carefully listening to their answer will help you to get to know them; people strongly differ on how they feel ‘most loved’ … your partner may want deep conversations on a regular basis, whereas you may like to be surprised with a bouquet of flowers. Some people express their love with gifts, others with wanting to spend quality time. Asking each other this question will help both of you find out how you can make the other one happy.
3 What would make you happiest in a relationship?
Everybody wants to be happy, but the definition of happiness varies from person to person. In asking this question, you may be able to find out your partner’s innermost dreams … things that he may have never thought about or shared – or may have never been able to experience.
4 What is your dream date night?
In a new relationship, partners may not be at a place where they can spend money on expensive date nights. However, they can plan their own with the same premise as those seen in movies and on television. By asking this question you mainly want to share with your partner that you want to treat him and make him feel special – your way of showing your interest and care.
Your dream date night needn’t cost a lot of money, either. For example, if he likes to go out for dinner and to the movies afterwards, and you’re on a tight budget at the moment, order his favorite food in and select one of his favorite movies to watch at home.
5 What is your favorite meal to cook for date night?
There’s some truth to the saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” To ask your partner about his favorite meal for a date night not only gives him the chance to tell you about his most favorite dishes – it also gives him the chance to express his desire for romantic date nights. Asking him will also let him know that you are interested in him as a person and are willing to invest in your relationship.
6 What kind of music puts you in the mood?
There are a lot of kinds of music that can put us in the mood – the question’s simple goal is to find out more about what kind of music your partner likes. If you are lucky, you two might share the same kind of musical taste. This is really important to find out, because, should you invite him over for dinner and put on your favorite country music, which he might hate, you may have ruined what was supposed to become a very romantic evening.
7 What’s your favorite thing to do in the morning?
Is your partner an early bird or a late riser? Is the first thing he needs in the morning a cup of coffee, just to get going, or would he rather drink tea? Does he love to sit down for a long breakfast, or is he out and about in no time? It’s important to find out exactly what your partner is like in the morning, and what he likes to do in the mornings, so that you can see if you’re a good match.
8 Who are your best friends?
His answer to this question will tell you more about your partner’s social network. It will also reflect a certain level of independence on his side. Getting to know his friends will also tell you a little bit more about who your partner is as a person.
It is not essential that you share the same circle of friends. In fact, it is probably good – and healthy for your relationship – for each of you to have your own friend or set of friends, as well as share some common friends.
9 Where do you go when you feel stressed out?
Each of us reacts to stress differently. This question allows your partner to tell you about their coping strategies. Also, this will provide you with clues about where your partner might need some extra attention. If they tend to overreact in stressful situations, they might need a calm environment in order to relax. Or they may want to do an intensive physical work out, in order to get some stress relief.
10 Where is your favorite place to be alone?
Everyone probably has that one favorite ‘hiding place’ – a place to withdraw from the hustle and bustle of life … a place to retrieve, calm down and reflect. It’s helpful to find out what kind of place your partner seeks out for his personal retreat, because that is probably where you will find him in times of stress and frustration.
11 How do you like to spend your free time?
This is such an important question, because what if you both don’t have any common ground in regards to how and where you want to spend your free time? What if he’s all about action, whereas you’d rather go home and spend a quiet evening reading a good book? Since both of you will probably be working during the day, the question of your free time preferences is quite essential, because all the time you will have to spend together after work, is your free time.
12 What is your idea of romance?
If you are a very romantic person and your partner is more of a pragmatic type, there probably won’t be any candle light dinners or bouquets of roses coming your way. The question is, are you willing to live without any romance – or what exactly is your idea of romance? Asking your partner the same question will at least help you to find out if he is romantically inclined at all, or if you better bury those expectations.
Conclusion
The above list of questions will hopefully be helpful in your getting to know your partner better. Make sure you two have some time to yourselves, and that there are no distractions, when you ask your partner these questions. Depending on how much time you have, one option might be to pick just one of these questions for each time that you get together, or you could save some questions for your upcoming date night.
Either way, there’s no better way to get to know your partner than by asking questions. They will probably enjoy it, and you’ll be able to learn all sorts of things about them that you didn’t know before.