How to save a failing relationship?
You are in a relationship and you want to save it, but the odds are stacked against you. Many relationships fail due to a lack of effort from both parties. On the bright side, if it’s not too late and the relationship is still salvageable, there are a number of things that can help keep your relationship afloat despite all odds.
How can you find your significant other’s true love language and how does that change over the years? Can you figure him/her out through questions about his/her family life, education, and work? What can you do to improve your relationship with him/her this year, both at home and in the workplace?.
If you want to save a failing relationship, you have to be willing to put in the effort. Whether you think it’s worth saving or not, there’s one thing for certain – if you don’t try to fix it, nothing will change. Everything starts with yourself and your attitude.
It is time for you to take action now and not tomorrow because it might be too late tomorrow. You should stop being selfish and put yourself in their shoes; at least take an hour out of your day and try to understand what it’s like for them and why they’re not okay with how things are going between the two of you.
You and your partner can work at improving the relationship by following these 21 tips that will help you save a failing relationship and put you on the path to a stronger, happier one! No longer will you be stuck in a rut; instead, you’re free to do what makes both of you happy.
1. Don’t let them feel that you’ve given up.
If you want to save your relationship, then that does not mean there is nothing you can do. There are actually a number of things that you can do to help save your relationship.
2. Think Positively
You have to keep yourself positive. It’s so easy to become negative when things don’t go the way you want them to go. Try to think positively about every part of your relationship, no matter how small the thing may seem to you.
If you can learn something positive from each little thing in your relationship, perhaps that will make up for some of the bad things that may have been said or done in the past.
3. Communicate Effectively
Since communication is the biggest barrier to a relationship, it may be time to seek professional help from a marriage counselor. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, then that will not change until you fix it.
4. Share Your Feelings
Don’t be afraid of being vulnerable with your partner; sharing your feelings will help those around you feel safe with expressing their own feelings. On the other hand, if you keep everything inside and do not share how you feel, then your partner may think that everything is okay when it’s really not. If he/she thinks that the problem is his/hers alone, then he/she does not care enough about how to solve it.
Too often, we think that if someone complains about something then they are clearly making a big deal out of nothing. However, if a significant other doesn’t feel comfortable sharing his/her feelings they may be letting issues slide that eventually develop into major problems.
Your attitude towards each other determines whether you have a serious relationship or if you are just dating. If your partner never shows their true colors and keeps things to themselves, then it may mean that they do not care enough about your relationship to share their true feelings. You should show consideration in order to maintain a serious relationship.
5. Avoid Arguments or Defensiveness
Try to avoid arguing over some petty things since you can offend your partner. If you keep it up, then you will probably end up losing the game of tug-of-war. Defending yourself will not help your relationship. Think about what your partner does not like about you and try changing that habit for the better. On the other hand, if your partner is always angry at something or someone else, then you should tell them that they need to sort their problems out in another way, such as with a therapist or by journaling their feelings.
6. Be Good to Your Partner
This requires that if your partner does something for you, then return the favor in a good way. If you want to save your relationship, then what goes around comes around and you have to give them back in kind or else they will feel betrayed.
7. Show Your Appreciation
One of the most effective ways of improving your relationship is to tell your partner that they are appreciated. If you show that you appreciate them when and how they need it, then that will mean a lot. However, do not just say it; demonstrate it by doing things for your significant other and taking on some of their unwanted burdens.
8. Accept that the mistakes were joint decisions.
You may have been at fault for a few things. The mistakes that you made along the way were joint decisions, and in a relationship, you need to accept that if you are going to go forward.
You can’t change your past, but you can learn from it and build a better future for yourself. If your partner is always pointing out the things that they think are wrong with your relationship, then it’s time to sit down and talk about things together so that there is more understanding between both parties.
9. Confess any wrongdoings to your partner, regardless of whether they were intentional or not.
Reach out to your partner, and ask them to do the same with you. If possible, do this over a cup of coffee or tea so that the conversation will be low-pressure, and you won’t feel pressured into anything because “it’s just coffee.” Just be honest with each other about how you feel – there’s no need for anything else until you’ve got this part done.
10. Learn to negotiate and reach a compromise.
Even in the best relationships, there are going to be disagreements.
But at the same time, people who are not married get upset when their significant others disagree with them and they argue. Some people even take this to extremes, sometimes thinking that all problems can be solved with a fight. This is one of the most important things you should learn to do if you want to make your relationship work, as if you keep arguing all the time with your partner then it will only lead to worse situations and more resentment.
11. Respect your partner.
If you cannot accept your partner’s flaws or faults, then it means that at some point along the way, you have probably started taking on their issues as well.
12. Establish an “honesty zone” and talk about what’s bothering you.
You should have a lot of conversations with your partner about what’s bothering you. This is another important thing that many couples fail at because they don’t know how to talk to each other.
If you are having a problem in your relationship, then it is best if you can talk with them about it. But do not expect them to know what you want or what is wrong for them. And don’t expect them to read your mind when you tell them what’s wrong. You should better give as many details as possible to help your partner understand the situation better. If he has told his girlfriend that he needs space from her, he will need to explain more about it than just “I need some space”.
13. Remind yourself of the things that made you love your partner.
It’s very important to have good and positive memories of your partner around you.
This is another thing that many people fail at. They do not remember their love for their partner, and all they remember are the many things that bothered them about their partners. In this way, they will not be able to understand what is right about their partners because of the bad things that they see. There is a very good book called “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod, who talks about how everyone can manage their time better as well, for example, if the man needs a break every once in a while, then he should have his girlfriend ask him on a date every once in a while so she could hear his point of view as well sometimes.
14. Spend a quiet and relaxing time together.
Do not try to escape from each other because you will have to face your problems again if you leave them alone.
A man should not be afraid to express his feelings to his girlfriend; however, he has to make sure that she knows that he loves her no matter what.
The most beautiful thing is when partners can share the most significant moments of their life. When a couple is in love and wants something more, they will have many difficulties in their relationship. If relationships surpass the difficult moments, it means that it is working out for both of them, which is the best thing that could happen.
15. Take a break from the daily routines of your relationship.
Sometimes the daily routines can be boring for both people in their relationship. If you are having a hard time with this, you should take a break from this occasionally. It will make your relationship much more substantial, and you will be able to do it if you want to spend some time alone.
A couple should always try to invest in their relationship because without the investment, it will not last for long. Everything necessary in life requires work and your relationship is no exception to this rule.
16. Stop hurting each other.
Avoid activities or things that will hurt your partner. For example, you should not say something to hurt your partner and make them feel like they are less critical or less needed. If you both want to save your relationship, you should avoid any hurt.
Also, avoid causing each other pain as well. For example, suppose you meet your significant other’s family members and have similar attitudes. In that case, you should not criticize each other’s family members because it will hurt your partner a whole lot.
17. Talk with each other without any distractions.
If you want to save your relationship, then the easiest way for both of you to talk is with no distractions or interruptions.
18. Show your emotions regularly and don’t hold them in.
If they love each other, they will feel everything more intensely and know how each other feels with just a few words or actions.
19. Ask the questions that you’ve never asked before
It would help if you also tried to ask the partner things you have never asked them before and get them to open up about their feelings.
20. Try not to compare your relationship with others.
Relationships vary from one couple to another. Comparing a relationship leads to stress and pressure. Avoid comparing your relationship to another couple. Problems, arguments, and dynamics are different for every couple. It would be best to understand that this is a widespread problem in many relationships.
21. Give them a lot of love and affection, not just on special days but every day too.
It would help if you tried to show your affection more often, especially on those days when you think that things are going wrong.
Make some time in your day to sit down with your partner and talk about what is bothering you. Maybe he knows how to make it better for you – he could be just the person that could help you out of a rough patch in life.
In addition, remember, sometimes a big part of having a successful relationship is believing that it can happen for you. Positive thinking can help turn things around if they are not going so well.
A simple talk about an issue can save a relationship. If both sides are open to solving the problem, it’s worth trying.
How to overcome a relationship crisis?
Any normal relationship couple has a range of emotions, which is okay. It is hard to maintain a healthy relationship. It requires constant work and improving yourself.
There is no one way to manage conflict in a relationship, but there are tips to follow that can help improve your relationship struggles.
Here are 3 ways to improve your relationship:
Focus on personal self-care
Sometimes people can forget themselves while in love. The struggles of a relationship create an imbalance within ourselves and a lack of ways to cope with the problems.
It does not matter if the problems are big or small.
People in a relationship have things that they want to do by themselves, which is okay. It is an opportunity to continue being yourself and do things that build you. Many times, space helps in coping with stress and managing conflict better.
Being under each other’s noses creates friction and causes arguments.
Many relationship experts suggest that you should not forget to continue doing things that make you happy even after finding a life partner. As much as joining activities is important, personal activities help the relationship too.
Consider therapy
Loneliness is common in a relationship. Sometimes you want to communicate with somebody. Loneliness can cause friction or arguments in a relationship, especially when someone feels like they are not getting any attention from their partner.
If you do not have a close friend or parent to share your feelings with, therapy can be a good outlet.
Having couples therapy also helps in solving issues within the relationship. Some issues can be difficult to agree on due to personal reasons; therapy helps couples understand the background of an argument and understand each other more.
Finding solutions to relationship challenges
Here are a few tips on working through a relationship struggle:
Communication
Communication causes many couples’ arguments. Finding an effective communication technique is the best way to navigate an argument and make sure each person understands the problems.
Communication is the first step in finding a solution.
The best communication technique is asking a relevant and important question. Then, give your partner time to respond as you listen. Offer your opinion after listening.
Being honest is an important aspect of communication. It helps in finding solutions. Remember, relationships go through rough patches, and it does not mean it is the end.
Respect each other’s differences
People in a relationship have different thoughts. Always respect each other’s differences.
Taking breaks
Sometimes being apart is good for building long-lasting bonds. It is an opportunity to rethink the relationship or an argument.
Consider the best for you
If you are experiencing abuse in the relationship, sometimes choosing yourself is not being selfish.
How to make a relationship work?
The best tip for making a relationship work is to have a healthy relationship.
Here are tips for having a healthy relationship:
Maintaining an emotional connection
Everybody wants to feel loved, and each person’s emotional cup is full.
The difference between feeling loved and being loved is that feeling loved gives a sense of acceptance or value while being loved is what you hear the other person say.
Many couples have a peaceful coexistence, but they are not relating emotionally.
You do not shy away from respectful disagreements
It is challenging to find someone that meets all your needs.
It is unhealthy to have exceeding expectations since it exerts pressure on the relationship. Always sustain personal identity outside the relationship to enrich a romantic relationship.
Open and honest communication
Effective communication is an integral part of any relationship. People should know what they want and need from the relationship.
A part of communication is communicating your wants, desires, and fears to strengthen the bonds.
How do you save a dying relationship?
People believe it is easy to replace or exchange a love partner in modern times. The divorce rate is 50%, which means a person getting married today has a 50% chance of ending up in a divorce.
The statistics are frightening. Here are 7 ways to save a dying relationship:
- Re-evaluate why you are together
Start thinking of what qualities that made your partner attractive. Do you still value those qualities?
Sometimes re-evaluating your relationship gives you the strength to stay committed to your partner. It gives you a reason to continue fighting for the relationship.
- Communication
Asking the right question, listening to the response, and sharing your opinion is the right way to communicate.
Ineffective communication brings irritation and overwhelms your partner.
- Having special moments
Having common likes makes your hangouts better. If you love food, it is an opportunity to find a new restaurant and dine.
It is also a great way to take your partner out for fine dining and show your appreciation for how they love and care for you.
Intimate dinners are a great way to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company.
- Avoid external influences
Sometimes, people emphasize outside voices, which breaks down relationships. People do not know your relationship as you do. It is important to keep relationship matters private and avoid seeking advice from friends and family.
Outside voices can brew toxicity to the relationship.
- Act of forgiveness
Forgiveness entails refraining from anger, animosity, and bitterness. Couples should learn to forgo any negative feelings hindering forgiveness. Remember, nobody is perfect.
- Do not hold any secrets
Secret hurt the other person deeply. Many people prefer keeping certain aspects of their life a secret, which is okay, but honesty can open another layer of vulnerability.
Honesty creates a safe haven for a relationship to flourish.
- Having healthy boundaries
Having boundaries ensures that a partner walks on the comfortable path to you. Going out with friends at night can be too much for you; you need to express your thoughts to your partner.
Can you make a failing relationship work?
Here are 6 signs that a failed relationship can work:
- The original problem is not insurmountable – you have to examine the root of the problem.
- Their actions speak louder than words – remember, if your partner is working hard to get together, it is a possible chance they want to work on the relationship.
- Honesty – having an honest conversation is the first step to giving a relationship a second chance.
- Both of you want to get back together – when people have a mutual desire to restart a relationship, it is easy to offer a second chance.
- Having common values – if both of you want the same thing in the future, it can be a reason to get back together.
- Taking responsibility for the wrongs in the relationship – accountability is a great point to start considering a second chance, especially if the relationship ended on bad terms.
When should you quit a relationship?
Here are 15 signs you should end a relationship:
- One partner is not getting what they want
- If you are changing your values and character to get what you want
- A partner does not have any interest in your life or career
- One partner excludes the other from activities they are attending
- You are afraid of being honest and speaking your mind
- One or both partners has lost trust in the relationship
- Trying to get to the next level through sex to seek approval
- If one partner or both are abusive
- If your excuse for staying is the time invested in making the relationship work
- You do not have the support of family and friends
- There is constant arguing, and the resentment never ends
- Both partners have different values
- Disrespect in the relationship
- The relationship cuts you off from other people outside the relationship
- When you stop being happy
When should you let go of a relationship?
Here are 6 signs you need to let go of a relationship:
- You are unhappy
- Your partner stopped meeting your wants
- Giving more to the relationship and receiving less
- You are afraid of being yourself
- You have the urge to cheat
- The respect is not there
How do you know it’s over?
- A relationship is over when the emotional connection dies. One does not feel the need to be vulnerable and open to the partner.
- Their physical appearance or intimacy does not appeal. Sex is an important connection in any relationship. If it dies, the relationship may be going down the drain.
- Couples are engaging in constant arguments – When couples do not see eye-to-eye, it leads to anger.
What are the signs that a relationship is over?
Here are the signs a relationship is over:
- Lack of emotional connection
- Constant arguments
- Being interested in another person
- The relationship lacks trust
How do you break up with someone you still love?
Here are ways of breaking up with somebody your love:
- Take a moment to think about what you want to say and why. It is important to consider your partner’s feelings while explaining the reason you want to end the relationship.
- Have the best intention as you walk into the conversation.
- Honesty is the best policy, but it does not mean you have to be brutal.
How do you know when it’s time to break up?
Criticism – it is the first horseman of communication. There is a difference between criticizing and complaining. One critic of a person’s character, while complaining, puts emphasis on their behavior.
Defensiveness – it is the response to criticism. Everybody wants to defend personal character when a person questions it.
Contempt – it is treating one another with disrespect.
Stonewalling – it is the last and most dangerous behavior. It is a response to contempt. It is the last stroll of broken communication. Couples avoid eye contact, signs of withdrawal, and shut down.
What to say to end a relationship?
It is the opportunity to express your feeling and thoughts honestly. Walk into the conversation with empathy and sympathy.
Do not be brutal while talking to your partner.
Does space help a broken relationship?
Yes, it is healthy to give each other space to evaluate a situation before embarking on it.
Final Thoughts
Relationships are hard to maintain, but with the above tips, one can salvage one. A failing relationship requires more work to make it work. Nobody said it would be easy, but it will be worth it.
Keep in mind that if you want your relationship to work out, both of you must want it to work. It requires both willing participants to perform. It requires two people to make the relationship work despite each other’s flaws. Partners should have a mind of growth and change their behavior for the better. Constant understanding and change keep the relationship going.
