8 Things You Need to Be for Your Husband
It takes two people for a relationship, and it takes both to be actively involved in creating a happy marriage. Needless to say that not one partner alone should bear all burdens or always be the one to initiate conversations or discussions. Both partners must carry equal loads and invest an equal amount of time and effort to make a relationship work. However, there are two different roles in a relationship … the role of the husband, and the role of the wife. Each will have expectations in regards to the other – this article focuses on what your husband needs you to be…
1. Be a good friend
There is nothing better in life than to have a good friend – and there is probably no better marriage than the one in which husband and wife are true friends. When your husband comes home from work, the most important thing is for you to be there for him. Listen to his stories and frustrations with interest and encouragement. Have a nice dinner prepared so that the two of you can sit down, enjoy each other’s company, and reflect the day’s events. If he is the main provider and at work all day, every day, he will appreciate your efforts and be thankful to have you as his partner and friend.
2. Be a good listener
Listening is one-half of the communication process, and definitely the more important one. Listening to your husband is an essential part of any successful marriage. It makes your husband feel respected and valued. Try to listen with an open mind and heart – not only will you make him feel appreciated, but it will also help you get to know your husband better – and understand his innermost needs and desires. Yes, it is also important for you to speak your mind, but try to listen first and take some time to think about what your partner could have meant, before you answer or disagree. Listening is a prerequisite to understanding, so always take time to listen to your partner.
3. Be available for a lunch date
Give your husband a break from the stress and strains of work and invite him to come home for lunch – if that is realizable option. Do everything to make him feel loved and appreciated. Take his mind off of work, by telling him about your day. The two of you can enjoy a nice meal together without any distraction, have some light conversation, and relax with one another. If he has no time to come home for lunch, think about taking him a sandwich to work, or meeting him somewhere for lunch once or twice time a week.
4. Be a good partner
When you decided to get married and live together with your loved one, you decided to share everything in life. The place where you live, your kitchen table, your bed … your finances, household chores, raising kids, as well as your free time. You decided to share the good times and the bad times, life’s joys and struggles. Marriage is a partnership and it means being on the same team. As teammates, you need to respect, encourage and actively help each other. Try to be that partner that you also want him to be.
Spiritually speaking, the book Life Together, written by Professor of Theology Dietrich Bonhoeffer, is a wonderful testimony to our need for partnership and community. Life Together overflows with wisdom on what partnership and community life ought to look like; it invites you to think about God’s design for his people, also within the content of the local church.
5. Be a good wife
What would be a good definition of ‘a good wife’? You may have your own thoughts on that, while your husband may have totally different ideas. It may be a good idea to ask your partner about his definition of a good wife. Does he want you to be a stay-at-home mom, take care of the household and be responsible for raising the children? Will he also support your wanting to work outside of the home? What are his personal expectations on you? These expectations can differ widely, but it’s important for you to understand your partner’s idea of a ‘good wife’. Once you know, you can then decide if you share his idea – and where you might be willing to compromise, in order to make him happy.
6. Be a good lover
There is nothing more relaxing, and at the same time enjoyable, than having good sex with the one you love – this is especially true for a man. One major way that a man feels affirmed is when his wife desires intimacy with him. Fact is, there is no other way to get as close to your husband as when sleeping together – and becoming one with him. These moments of intimacy are so relaxing, because they seem to be able to completely shut out all of our daily concerns. As we enjoy kissing and caressing each other, nothing else will be on our mind, except feeling the touch of his hands, and his lips on ours. Making love tenderly rids us of all our worries and fears, and gives us a feeling of assurance … that everything is going to be okay. Regularly taking time to enjoy intimacy with your husband will make for a happy relationship.
7. Be a good mother
Of course both parents are ideally involved in the parenting process. In reality, however, mothers often carry more of the responsibility for raising their children, especially if they are stay-at-home-moms. They give their all to take care of their children and educate them, raising them to become good individuals, who will find their place in life, work hard and respect others.
What makes a good mother? First of all, love your children unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. Be there for them and raise them with love and respect. Don’t spoil your kids, because they will grow up unappreciative and will likely start some bad habits that may be difficult to correct later. Teach them kindness and how to listen, and teach them to help others less fortunate.
8. Be a good housekeeper
When your husband comes home from a hard day’s work, you will make him very happy with a clean house, dinner on the table, and a smile on your face. Seeing that you have put in such effort to welcome him home will make him feel respected and loved. Find out your husband’s likes and dislikes in regards to housekeeping. Hey may not mind chaos but expect cleanliness, or vice versa. If you also work and are out of the house all day, discuss these issues with your partner and find a solution that will keep you both happy.
Conclusion
Most of the above-mentioned points should obviously apply to both partners, even though this article focuses on a husband’s needs. Hopefully, you will feel encouraged and affirmed by the different points, as you continue to support your husband and help him to live a fulfilled life.
