19 Ways to Maintain the Spark in a Relationship

If you’ve both been sucked into the busyness of life and have hardly had any time for each other, your may wonder how to keep – or renew – that spark in your relationship. What’s the secret recipe to make your love last? Spending quality time with one another is of the essence, that’s for sure, as well as making an effort. Following are 19 tips that will give you some ideas and help you keep that spark alive.

1. Get creative

Boredom is a common problem in many relationships. Especially when you have been together for a while, busy with work, raising kids, taking care of a household, and so on. Every day life repeats itself, and you may feel like you are in a rut. So now may be the time to get creative. Take some time and think about what you can do to bring new ideas into your relationship and spice things up a bit. What have you always wanted to do with your partner, but have never had the time for? What does your partner enjoy and has not had the time for?

2. Get out of your comfort zone

Getting out of your comfort zone plays a crucial role in keeping a relationship happy. Is there something that your partner would like to do with you, but you’ve always been hesitant about? You may not feel comfortable with heights, but your husband’s dream has always been for the two of you to spend a weekend in Paris and go on top of the Eiffel Tower. Now may be the right time to get out of your comfort zone and surprise him with a weekend trip to Paris.

3. Never give up on romance

Keep on finding little ways to show your partner that you love and long for him. Little signs of affection can remind your partner of the happiness of your relationship, and how much you care about him. Take some time to look at some old photo albums together and reflect on all the exciting and wonderful things you have already been able to share. Prepare some special dinners for your spouse and put those beautiful candles back on the dinner table.

4. Do not say bad things about your partner

Both of you will probably experience some times where you or your partner will need to vent their anger and frustration on each other. Since you are the ones who share everything, this is bound to happen. Just remember, whenever this happens, avoid saying anything that will hurt your partner. Don’t dump your frustrations on your partner, who is already willing to listen to you in your rage, because he knows how important it is to get it out. Be considerate and choose your words so not to offend him.

5. Make time to be intimate

It is essential that you continue to make time for intimacy in your relationship – especially if you want the spark to last. Intimacy is so special, because your partner is the only one you share this aspect of a relationship with. Getting intimate by hugging, kissing, caressing, and making love, renews your bond as partners and lovers.

Physically ‘becoming one’ is truly unique to a love relationship. You can meet with your friends and share all kinds of activities, and you can probably always find someone to talk to, if need be – but this most intimate moment of making love you can only share with your partner. Making love is like experiencing magic … you feel assured, loved, adored, and completely safe. Nothing else seems to really matter in those moments, there’s no care in the world, and all that counts is that you are with him and he is with you.

6. Be honest with each other

Honesty is a crucial aspect of any relationship, and especially between two partners. Being honest helps your partner to know you better – and will help you feel close. And this need never changes, not even after 20 years of being married – because as humans, we are constantly changing – and these changes may bring about feelings or new longings that you should share with your partner.

7. Make time for fun & laughter

Make sure that you and your partner have fun and enjoy many moments of laughter. Having fun is vital to keep that spark alive in a relationship, and laughter is the best medicine! Are you taking time to laugh together? Can both of you see the funny side of things?

Many times we get stuck in that thinking that we have to be and act all grown up and serious. But never despise the little things in life that bring us joy, and don’t forget the importance of daily laughing together.

8. Put down your phone

All it takes is for one of you to start checking messages on your phone, for the other to feel left out. Try to avoid letting your phone take over your life, not just for your own sake and peace of mind. Staring at your cell phone constantly while you are spending time with your partner will totally frustrate him, because you will make him feel like he is not important to you anymore. Put down that phone and be attentive when your partner is spending time with you.

9. Do not hold a grudge

Holding on to negative feelings will eventually have a negative impact on your relationship. There is no way around that. If you keep your hurts and frustration bottled up inside, they will add up … until one day you blow up …. or leave. Especially when your partner was the cause of your hurt or frustration, do not hold a grudge but talk to him about it. If that’s not possible immediately, then wait one day, so that you can calm down and have had some time to think about the situation. It’s never too late to talk and make up.

10. Make eye contact

Making eye contact can work wonders in keeping the spark alive in your relationship. Not taking the time to look at each other anymore, because you may be frustrated or have so much on your mind, will make your partner feel like you are not interested in him anymore.

Look at him whenever you talk to him, when he passes you by, when you tell him hello or goodbye. Making eye contact keeps the two of you connected and reflects that you still value each other. The existence of an emotional connection with your partner is vital to keeping that spark alive.

11. Make sure you communicate

Constant communication is the only way to keep a relationship alive and happy. Communication is a two-way thing – and always takes two people getting active. Make time to listen to your partner, no matter how trivial it may seem what he is telling you about.

Listening is probably the most difficult part of the communication process. Letting your partner know about your feelings and what you’re going through, is just as important. Also make sure to ask your partner how he is doing and what he is up to. That’s what communicating is all about – expressing your interest and care through words.

12. Be supportive of your partner

Supporting each other is essential in relationships because it keeps you feeling safe, loved, and appreciated. Always offer to help your partner, should he need any help; have his back whatever happens – stick together and support each other. Show him that you care about what he does by offering your support.

13. Say thank you

Express your gratitude and tell your partner how happy you are to be with him. Compliment him on small and big achievements, and act in a manner that makes your partner feel appreciated. Being grateful for each other – and expressing it – is the key to happiness and joy. Make sure to say thank you for all the things your partner does for you – he cannot know that you are thankful unless you express it. To say thank you takes but a moment and has a lasting impact.

14. Read to each other

Take some time to read to one another. A good time may be after dinner, when life has quieted down and the kids are in bed. Select a story that both of you will find interesting and take turns reading to each other. Also, just one of you could read, if the other one prefers to listen.

Go on an adventure together without having to leave the house, and enjoy reflecting on the story. Spending time together, reading to one another and sharing your thoughts will allow you to connect and share a special moment of intimacy.

15. Send a quick Hello

It does not always need a practical reason to connect with your partner. Randomly send him a text, just to say “I love you” or “You are awesome”, and show him that you are thinking of him. When he goes on a business trip, write him a love note and hide it in his suitcase.

16. Make a change instead of hoping that your partner will

If you want your relationship to stay happy and healthy, and feel like there’s a need for some change – be the one to change it. Do not expect your partner to bring about change – he may not even be aware of the need for it. Communicate that need for change, if you have some specific ideas on what to do, and then start by doing your part in bringing about that change. You can only change yourself; you cannot change anyone else.

17. Stay aware of your partner’s presence

Many times we get so busy with our own lives that we forget about that special someone right beside us. Of course, you cannot see anyone else if your eyes are fixed on yourself. But that does not take away the fact that you are not alone – there is another person in your life whom you have committed to, and who wants to be seen and noticed by you. Just like you probably want to be noticed by him. Make an effort to acknowledge his presence, and stay aware of his needs and feelings.

18. Re-establish your deep friendship

It is essential to have a deep friendship with your partner, which can withstand all the challenges life throws at you. While passion can take you a long way, it is friendship that will help you sail through all the difficulties of your relationship.

Are you and your partner still friends? Did you use to be the best of friends? If that special friendship has faded over the years, take some time to re-establish it: talk to your partner, discuss some of your ideas with him and seek his advice. He will appreciate your asking and will feel valued again. Deep friendship is probably the most costly thing to have in a love relationship – and necessary to keep that spark alive.

19. Treat your partner with respect and dignity

Whether the two of you are alone or among other people, always treat your partner with respect and dignity. Do not make fun of him, don’t talk down to him, and do not belittle him. The worst would be to do this to your partner in public. This kind of behavior has already ended so many relationships, and it is so unnecessary, because who of us does not want to be treated with respect and dignity?

If this is something you catch yourself doing, stop immediately and be sure to have apologized. If you care about renewing that spark in your relationship, than this kind of behavior is definitely a no-go. Treat him like you also want to be treated.

Conclusion

To keep that spark in your relationship takes a conscious effort. Always communicate and be honest with your partner – and try not to let the passion die, by overlooking your relationship because of life’s busyness. All the stuff of life is not as important as the relationship between you and your partner.