How to Make Your Partner Fall in Love With You Again

There are many reasons that the dynamics of a relationship change, but one thing that tends to happen is that, over time, the passion fades. When you find yourself in a relationship where the spark is beginning to fade, what can you do? Are there ways to renew that first love? Following are some suggestions:

1) Go on dates when you feel most romantic

No matter how busy both of you are during the day, try to find time after work – or even on your lunch break – to go on a date! Spending quality time together and enjoying each other’s company is essential for keeping things fresh and exciting in your relationship.

2) Do something nice for him

Simple gestures of kindness go a long way. Compliment your partner on his looks and achievements; bring him some flowers for no apparent reason; set a beautiful dinner table as a surprise; give him a hug as you pass each other in the hallway; buy him a concert ticket of his favorite band; write a little love note and hide it under his pillow. Do something nice for your partner, in a way that you know he will enjoy.

3) Be considerate of his feelings

No matter what your day is like, be mindful of how your partner or spouse feels. Being sensitive to his needs can make a lasting impact on the relationship. When your partner feels down or stressed, be there for him and create an atmosphere where he can calm down and find rest. Your partner will feel loved and appreciated whenever you are considerate of his feelings.

4) Respect his boundaries

Each person has their own needs and wants, and each person has different boundaries. Boundaries are mental, emotional, or physical limits that you both put in place between you and your partner. They help you in your partnership to exist as a team, living side by side, without loosing your individuality. It is very important to set and respect those boundaries, and essential for re-sparking your relationship.

For example, if your partner needs some time alone to recharge, allow him to take that time for himself, without being jealous or nagging. You too will have boundaries that you want your partner to respect.

5) Initiate physical contact more often

Physical contact is a huge part of making people feel close to each other. This can be a touch of his hand, a hug for no reason, a pat on his shoulder, an intimate kiss, taking time to caress each other, all the way up to making love. Initiating physical contact shows that you are still interested in your partner or spouse – and they will most likely return the favor. Regular physical contact helps to make both of you feel more intimate – and will help to ignite that spark.

6) Create a romantic atmosphere with candles and music

It is easy to fall into a routine in your home, as you both get busy with your careers and are involved in raising children … but be sure to make time for some romance. You can do this by putting some candles on a beautifully set dinner table, or by putting on his favorite music and taking him in your arms. Run a bubble bath and invite him to join you, and put some candles next to your beds in the evening, inviting him to a time of intimacy. It does not take much to create an atmosphere of romance and will make your partner feel special and loved.

7) Take the time to figure out what makes him happy

Your partner surely has his own ideas about what makes him happy – and they may be different from what you would expect. It is important to find out how to make your partner or spouse happy … may it be kisses, some time alone, a vacation, or a back rub – whatever brings him joy, try to accommodate his wishes.

Make time for one another, also if it means organizing some alone-time together, away from kids and other daily responsibilities.

8) Take time for getting reacquainted

This may sound funny, but couples in happy relationships spend time getting ‘reacquainted’ in order to keep the romance alive. You don’t need to do something out of the ordinary to be able to reconnect – even doing something simple, like going out for a walk or even having a cup of coffee and sharing your thoughts can make both of you feel more connected again.

Even if it is just seeing each other over dinner, it can be a great way to reconnect and find out about your partner’s newest ideas.

9) Compliment one another often

Compliments will make your partner feel appreciated and loved. They don’t cost anything, take but a moment to say … but go a long way. Compliments are like a positive investment into the future of your relationship. To hear a compliment makes you feel better instantly, in fact, it makes you feel special. Feeling special – and making your partner feel special – will definitely help in finding romance again.

10) Laugh together

Humor is the best medicine! Whether you laugh out of joy or desperation, humor has a healing virtue. Finding humor in a difficult or stressful situation can help turn away the drama and gives us hope for finding a solution. If you and your partner can laugh together and laugh about each other, you have come back to a place of acceptance and love.

11) Change your routine from time to time

In a long-term relationship you establish a routine, which is important for managing every day life, but every routine can becomes tiresome and boring after a while. The more you can shake things up with new activities or interests, the less your relationship will grow stale over time.

12) Tell your partner frequently that you love him

The old saying “actions speak louder than words” is very true, because if you don’t live what you speak – even in your relationship – nobody will believe or trust you anymore. At the same time, words are so important, because what we speak will have an impact on those around us, in either a positive or negative way. Expressing your love with words is essential, not just because we all long to hear words of affection, but because these words of affection give us comfort, make us feel special and give us a sense of security. Also, if you want to be a little more romantic, make sure to tell your partner how much they mean to you, and don’t hesitate to go into detail in regards to what you love about them.

13) Show your affection through actions as well as words

There is no better way for two individuals to show their affection than by holding hands. Even if it seems like a small gesture, it always makes you feel more connected with each other. In trying to get that spark back in your relationship, miss no chance to show your affection, by holding hands, kissing him gently, embracing him and holding him tight.

14) Love yourself, so that you can love your partner

Being able to love and respect yourself will help you to love and respect your partner, which is most important when it comes to relationships. The Bible says that we should ‘love our neighbor as ourself’. What an amazing sentence! We might have grown up hearing that we should always love and respect the people around us – but when did anyone ever mention that we should love ourselves first? Truth is, you cannot truly love your partner, unless you love yourself … have been able to accept and respect yourself, take care of yourself, and have come to terms with who you are.

15) Ask your partner what sparks their interest

How do you make your partner want to spend more time with you? Come up with something that sparks your partner’s interest! First try to find out what interests him – which may have changed over the years – then find some new and exciting things for both of you to do. You might not be able to change everything about your relationship, but finding and doing some new things that you are both excited about could renew your passion.

16) Try a little role play while talking with each other

Role-playing can be lots of fun – if your partner is up for it – and can help create a better sense of communication between the two of you. One, or both of you, may find it easier to express yourselves, when pretending to be someone else. Enjoy taking turns, listening, and communicating.

17) Make sure you two spend some quality time – without your children

For many couples, having children is a huge blessing – and a huge distraction, in regards to the relationship with their partner. You need to take care of your children, plan and help execute their daily activities, worry about their well-being, etc., etc. – and that day in and day out. By the time your kids are in bed, you are usually tired, and there’s very little energy left for any romantic feelings. But finding time to be alone together is a must – especially if you long for more romance. So, make sure to get a babysitter at least once a week and take some time out with your loved one.

When do you know if your relationship needs help?

Although everyone has their own opinion about what makes a relationship work, here are some questions to ask yourself, if you feel discouraged and want to find out whether your relationship needs help:

Q: Do you feel like you must ask permission from your partner before making any decisions?

Q: Is there a lot of unnecessary arguing between you and your partner?

Q: Does it seem like every time you want to do something, it takes a long time for you and your spouse to agree on what to do?

Q: Does your spouse expect you to constantly do things for him, like cooking dinner or taking out the trash?

Q: Does your relationship seem rigid when it comes to rules and expectations?

If any of these questions are true in your current situation, you may first want to talk to your partner about it. I he shows no interest in talking, you may need some outside help.

Final Thoughts

Good relationships may be hard to find, but the wait is worth it. The secret to keeping a happy and romantic relationship is probably communication and mutual respect. Listen to each other, even if you disagree. Be kind and patient. Encourage and affirm each other. Show and express love to one another and forgive each other’s mistakes – this will make your relationship stronger and help to re-kindle that fire of romance.