10 Tips for Your Long-Distance Military Relationships

As a military spouse, you know how challenging it can be to maintain a healthy and happy relationship with your loved one. With deployments and regular times apart, military couples face some unique challenges. However, every relationship offers opportunities for intimacy and growth … if you have patience – and love your partner deeply.

 

This article will address 10 things you need to have in your relationship, in order to be successful and happy. 

 

1. Communication 

The most important key to a successful long-distance military relationship is, of course, communication. Should your spouse be deployed, try to stay in touch via free messaging apps like WhatsApp and Telegram, and by sending e-mails, postcards, and letters. 

 

Even if you are on opposite sides of the world, make sure that you try to talk to each other every day. Depending on where your spouse is located, it may not be possible to connect on a daily basis, which makes it even more important to try. 

Communication is just as important when your spouse is at home. Even if you’ve had to deal with everything on your own for the last few months, because of your husband having been  deployed, make sure to include him in your conversations and daily routine after his return. This will help your partner to quickly integrate and feel part of the family again.

 

2. Continuity

Do you know the saying, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?” This is probably especially true for military spouses, who may not get to see their partners for months at a time. Being able to ‘see’ your spouse regularly – whether in person or online – will benefit both parties and make your relationship steady. Try relocating to the area of your spouse’s duties or near his base, if possible – especially if your spouse has extended duty.

 

3. Support 

No matter where you are, try and have a support network that can provide closeness for you during tough times. Friends, family, relatives, counselors, and even your branch of service can be great resources for you in times of need when your spouse is away.

Also be sure to always be supportive of your spouse. Find out how he or she feels supported and what you can practically do to show that support. 

 4. Make Friends

Making friends will help you remain busy and not dwell as much on the fact that you are in a long-distance relationship. Get involved in local organizations, programs, and activities with other military spouses, wives, and friends. Thou your spouse may be far away, you don’t need to be alone.

 

5. Perseverance

Perseverance is what it takes to survive, if your spouse is gone for months at a time, and you are stuck with all of the household duties and raising your children all by yourself. No matter how frustrating it seems, stick it out. Everything happens for a reason- and patience pays off eventually. Without perseverance no relationship would last.

 

6. Trust

Trusting one another is essential for a long-distance military relationship. Trust in each other’s love and in knowing that your partner wants only the best for you. By trusting your partner you place confidence in him or her to keep all the promises you made when you married. Trust is the faith you have in your partner that he will always love you and be loyal to you.

 

7. Patience

You must be patient with each other’s needs, wants, and desires. Typically what happens is that, even before you know it, you will have your hearts set on something, and then it won’t happen, and you will be disappointed. This may be in regards to reaching an outer goal, like finding a new apartment, or an inner goal, like your partner wanting to get up early to join you for breakfast, although he is really a late sleeper. Patience is of the essence for any happy relationship, and especially for a long-distance military relationship.

                                                              

8. Respect 

Respect is the decision you make to accept other people despite all of their differences. That is easier to do when you don’t see each other that often, but in a marriage, especially when your military spouse is at home, respecting one another can become quite a challenge.

Showing each other respect becomes especially important after you have been together for a longer time and the newness of your love may have faded. A relationship is only possible when two people can respect each other. What it comes down to is this: treat your spouse as you want him to treat you.

 

9. Acceptance

Acceptance is an essential part of any relationship, especially in a long-distance military relationship. It might not be easy to accept that your significant other is far away, because you want your loved one back home with you – but nagging won’t change the situation and just makes you both unhappy. Accepting your circumstances is important, in order for you to be able to support your spouse while he’s deployed. And acceptance is important because two people will always differ on things and need to be able to compromise.

 

Hopefully these 10 Tips for Your Long-Distance Military Relationship will inspire you to be actively involved in making your relationship last. Any relationship takes an investment on both sides, in order for both partners to be happy.