What Are the Different Types of Attraction?

If you find yourself wondering about your feelings regarding a relationship, it may be helpful to understand that there are various types of attraction. You may be sexually attracted to a person, but not romantically attracted to the same person.

As the popular saying goes, one man’s meat is another man’s poison. What may be attractive to one person, may be cringeworthy to another. Attraction is a personal thing, despite the unending efforts of pop culture to peddle the idea that being attracted to a certain person is all-encompassing.

Types of Attraction: How They Impact Relationships

Attraction is when you are drawn to a particular person or particular thing. Understanding the reasons why you are attracted to a particular person helps to evaluate the options regarding a potential relationship. Fact is, there are many different types of attraction.

This article will focus on the following 5 common types of attraction

• Sexual attraction
• Physical attraction
• Emotional attraction
• Romantic attraction
• Aesthetic attraction

Attraction plays a key role in relationships. No matter if these are relationships with colleagues, family members, friends, or your most intimate partner. Finding out more about these different types of attraction enhances healthier relationships.

There is a broad spectrum of emotions that exist in us. We think that we are ruled by our minds, but the fact is that, first and foremost, our emotions rule our lives – and influence our decisions.

It’s liberating to understand what these feelings mean and why we are feeling a specific way. Instead of feeling trapped in our emotions, understanding the different types of attraction can help us see our options – and be instrumental in successfully going through relationship dynamics. 

Sexual attraction

Sexual attraction is the most common type of attraction. Just as the name suggests, it is when you are drawn to a person physically and intimately. Usually, this happens to people who do not know each other.

You may be some place for a totally different reason and suddenly see that person and … boom! … you just can’t take your eyes off him, and your heart starts beating like crazy – although you have never even spoken to that person!

If a stranger brings out such feelings of arousal, physiological excitement and lust, then you are experiencing sexual attraction.

Whenever we hear the word attraction we mostly associate it with sexual attraction. In this article, we seek to dispel that myth by understanding even more types of attraction. The ‘sex sells’ attitude may be the biggest reason why this myth is so deeply rooted.

This is not to say that you can only experience one type of attraction at a time. Sexual attraction may easily grow into another type of attraction. For example, you may have a one night stand and later on, sexual attraction may grow into a romantic attraction.

Romantic attraction

Romantic attraction is more complex than sexual attraction. It runs deeper, and the need for connection in this type of attraction is greater. It involves longing to be connected to another person intimately … in your spirit and soul. At times romantic attraction may even be similar to friendship.

Romantic relationship can go hand in hand with sexual attraction, and even emotional attraction.

Physical attraction

Physical attraction is often confused with sexual attraction. As opposed to sexual attraction, physical attraction is yearning for a closer and more tactile connection to another person. Sensuality and the need to touch or be touched may not be necessarily sexual.

Sometimes you are just looking to get a good cuddle. Tactile stimuli involved here may include cuddles, massages, hugs, and holding hands. Take an example of enjoying a friend’s hugs or cuddles but not being interested in having sex with them. Physical attraction is more about enjoying proximity or contact with another person.

The tactile connection between people – or even for your pet – expresses love. This makes physical attraction very special. It is the first connection that you make with an infant before they learn to say a single word, and a very affectionate way of establishing a bond between parent and child early on.

Emotional attraction

Emotional attraction involves more intimacy than any other type of attraction. As social creatures, we crave the camaraderie of those around us. Being emotionally attracted to someone means that there is a shared expression of love, acceptance, respect, and support. Emotional attraction is the deepest type of connection, and also a more long-term connection, like with your best friend.

The benefits of experiencing emotional attraction is that you share values, dreams, hopes, and fears. It helps create and sustain strong and healthy relationships, whether platonic or romantic.

Emotional attraction can help in growing other types of attraction. Your colleague may turn into your next boyfriend, for example, or your best friend may one day become your husband.

Aesthetic attraction

The aesthetic attraction may not include the desire for tactile, intimate, romantic, sexual, or emotional connections. It is more about appreciating another person’s appearance. It is about what one perceives as beautiful in another person or thing.

Appreciating the physique of a fashion model or a sports personality – or even one of your colleagues or the cashier at the grocery store is called aesthetic attraction. This kind of attraction that does not extend to other forms of attraction. You may just enjoy the looks of someone but are not interested in establishing a relationship.

How do these types of attraction help in navigating relationships?

It is possible to experience these types of attractions with all different kinds of people. You may experience a certain type of attraction, and after a while, it just disappears. Attraction is not rigid, and it does not follow any specific rules – it really just happens, and often unexpectedly.

One type of attraction may also evolve into other types of attraction. For example, with deeper emotional connections, a romantic or sexual attraction may develop.

Understanding the various types of attractions can help you understand why you react a certain way to one person, but not to another. There is often no reasoning involved when it comes to feeling attracted to someone. Understanding more of what each attraction is all about can help in defining your relationships better.

Reality is certainly better than fantasy when it comes to understanding attraction. The best way to avoid confusion is to truly know the connection that you have with someone else. It can also help you to know what you want to get out of a specific relationships you are currently involved in.

Self-awareness is key in identifying what type of attraction you are experiencing. It may be hard to identify what type of attraction you are feeling, especially when it is more than one – but it is a wonderful chance for you to explore the avenues available to you. There is such beauty in human interaction … and there is always so much to learn.

The bottom line

Understanding these kinds of attraction may help you know exactly what you are feeling towards another person, and can help you decide your next steps. Enjoy every single experience of feeling attracted to someone and approach life with an open mind. You do not need to be ashamed of your emotions and can embrace what you are feeling.

The aspect of attraction is directly connected to all basic human interactions in life, right from childhood to adulthood.